Anti-androgyny: Man and woman are not alike (Part 2)
This is a continuation of Tuesday’s article, a short overview of some of the differences between men and women. When we last left off, we were discussing how the tendency of men is to want to build, create, and fix things.
As a man, it doesn’t just end with creating things. I’m called to be a leader in our family – sans kids at the moment – as noted in various passages, including , . I’m called to lead her, both spiritually () and in all other means (), and that can be difficult. It’s easy for me to want to just be ‘alone’ – not without her around (because there’s not much I enjoy more than having a wife!), so much as alone in my responsibilities – life’s so much easier when I don’t have to be responsible for the spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being of another person!
Biblical womanhood, just like manhood, has it’s own challenges. The Biblical woman must ‘submit to her husband’ () and respect him as well (). Humanity, in it’s brokenness, tends to define this as ‘being ruled under an iron fist,’ leading to ideas of quiet servitude, instead of the more appropriate analogy of a partnership where the wife is supportive and uplifting of her husband.
We are broken, and that brokenness leads to disagreements and strife. While we were created to live in harmony with each other, as the embodiment of the relationship with God, we pull against the spiritual, and run towards the flesh. It’s only through a lifetime of prayer, supplication, and humility (sometimes forced!) that we begin to fall more clearly in the roles that God has for us, and it’s not until we have our ‘new’ bodies that that full sanctification will be revealed.
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3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. (ESV)
3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, (ESV)
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (ESV)
3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9 Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 10 For
“Whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit;
11 let him turn away from evil and do good;
let him seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
and his ears are open to their prayer.
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God’s will, than for doing evil.
18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit, 19 in which he went and proclaimed to the spirits in prison, 20 because they formerly did not obey, when God’s patience waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was being prepared, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through water. 21 Baptism, which corresponds to this, now saves you, not as a removal of dirt from the body but as an appeal to God for a good conscience, through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22 who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him. (ESV)
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (ESV)
23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (ESV)
Anti-androgyny: Man and woman are not alike
This is part one of a two part article on our identity as male and female. It’s not intended to be an exhaustive look at either gender, rather, it’s intent to to simply examine some of the ways in which we embody God’s character.
As I try to write this article, I find that I’m actually having quite a bit of trouble even starting it; it’s very difficult to ‘break out’ of the mentality of ‘political correctness’ that has been fostered so heavily in the culture of our country these days, and that’s part of the problem overall, I believe. We, as a nation (and other parts of the world) have broken so far from the concept of ‘Biblical’ masculinity, femininity, and marriage that it’s often too easy to simply give credence to the idealized androgyny of modern society. Just as I, by habit, tend to still type two spaces after every sentence as I was taught in High School (a behaviour that was necessitated by the typewriter and monospaced font era), I find myself leaning toward what the world calls ‘normal’ even with the understanding of what the Bible teaches. Many would call this ‘new normal’ – essentially a deviation from scriptural teaching – a proper thing, a movement in the ‘right’ direction.
It’s difficult to separate oneself from the culture in which one resides… and that’s just one of the many challenges that both genders face: How do we ‘be’ ourselves as we were created to be? Part of that, of course, is regular time in the Word, and solid interaction with believers in fellowship, accountability, and learning.
I love to build things. Wood craft, cabinetry, construction, metal working, welding, it really doesn’t matter what it is, I can lose literal hours in my workshop simply creating, designing, and building; it’s something that I don’t usually get paid for, but would be thrilled to spend the rest of my life doing. It’s part of who I am, and who I was created to be, and I firmly believe that the desire to build things with my hands is a direct manifestation of my role as a man in God’s creation. The embodiment of God’s strength in human form; God created the world, and He created us in His image. My wife, on the other hand, is vastly skilled with decorating. I would honestly be very happy with a house that had a place to sit, a place to eat, and a place to sleep, and I don’t much care for what it looks like. Function is far superior to form in my mind, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t appreciate the beauty that she is able to create in the design and decoration that she applies to our house, and she does an incredible job at it. She embodies the beauty and gentleness of God, both in her actual appearance and spirit, as well as in the things she does and creates.
We each represent a portion of God’s character. How do you find yourself fitting in with His design?
On Friday, we’ll continue this article with a deeper look at the scripture behind this idea.
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Open: Where’s Your Heart?
Are you listening to Him?
Where’s your heart right now? I don’t mean your physical heart – hopefully, that’s still beating inside your chest, and if it’s not, now might be a good time to put down the phone and let the doctor work.
Is your heart open to God? It’s easy to respond to this question with defensiveness and self-righteousness; “of course I’m open,” one might say, “i’m in the Word everyday, I go to church on sundays, and I even talk to one or two people every once in a while after it.”
But are you open? Are you in a position to really listen to the truth that God is speaking to you? There are many levels to that truth; from the basic and majestic truth of salvation, to the truth of the value that you have as a child of God. The question, of course, is are you listening? Is your heart open to the Word of God? Are you reading the Word of God? Are you in community with other believers?
Is there room in your heart for God to move?
Here’s my heart Lord,
Here’s my heart Lord
Here’s my heart Lord,
Speak what is true
– Here’s My Heart (feat. Crowder)
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18 Open my eyes, that I may behold
wondrous things out of your law. (ESV)
10 With my whole heart I seek you;
let me not wander from your commandments!
11 I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you. (ESV)
12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (ESV)
1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. (ESV)
12:1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. (ESV)
Perseverance: This Too Shall Pass
Surely, you’ve heard the phrase “This too shall pass?”
Many attribute that saying as coming directly from the Bible, and while it’s not actually in the Scripture in that specific form, there are many passages that can certainly be read to mean that whatever calamity you’re going through will soon be over. (, as a common example). The phrase immediately brings to mind the idea that, no matter how bad things get, there’s always a ‘greener’ pasture, there’s always a downhill after the up, and there’s always healing after sickness (even if that healing is eternal rather than mortal!).
In the book of Ecclesiastes, the unknown author (though Solomon is implied) waxes philosophical on the meaning of life, and presents many ideas, concepts, and conclusions that ultimately end at the quite poignant “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” (, ESV)
Let’s look at for a moment though…
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
You might realize by now where this is going; even the good things shall come to pass! Everything has a time, and that time, that season, must at some point come to an end. While this may seem defeatist and pessimistic, know that that is not my intention! For after every downswing, is another upwards thrust, after every peak, comes another valley. Life is not a plateau – no, it’s an undulating landscape of lessons, hardships, good experiences, and bad. And throughout it all, we should look to God, and know that He is good, that He has our lives in His hands, and that there is nothing that will be too much for us to handle.
When times are at their lowest, know that there is always something better coming, perhaps not in this lifetime, but the next, and when times are great, know that even that season has it’s end, and the next may not be so wonderful, or, perhaps, it may be even more amazing than the last.
Where do you put your trust? In the future of God’s kingdom, or the season you’re in now, be that good or bad?
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57:1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me,
for in you my soul takes refuge;
in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge,
till the storms of destruction pass by. (ESV)
13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil. (ESV)
3:1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. (ESV)
Distracted
D̏̈i̶̟̹̠̠̟̥͐̽̑̃s̤͖̤̜̞ͯ̓t͓̦͎̞̯̘̪͐͊̏̿͐r̟̪͙̯̱ͤ͐̓̀a̡̟̙̤̳̱̗͇c͓̘͗͌ṭ̭̝̖͎̫ͣe̳͕̤̕d̶͕͉̰̩̞̰̄
“Distracted: Unable to concentrate because one’s mind is preoccupied.”[1]
A common action with a misbehaving computer is to simply turn it off and then back on again. Remember this because it can save you a whole lot of time in troubleshooting in the future – just a simple reboot can fix so much. 90% [2] of the time, the problem will simply resolve itself. The more you know…
Now, you may be wondering what that little helpful bit of information has to do with theology, or belief, or Christianity, or, perhaps, even the concept of distraction, so let’s explore that a little bit. The computer has memory. Over time that memory gets gunked up. Little bits and pieces of programs, documents, pictures, music, movies, and other dreck get stuck in part of the computer’s brain and then slowly begin to make a mess of things. Rebooting the machine clears all that gunk out, and you get a fresher, more ready computer.
We are similar in that regard. Little bits of life stick to us, slowly building up until suddenly you look around, and you can’t find God. You know He’s there, of course, but He’s hidden from your view. Perhaps He’s underneath Little Johnny’s soccer practice, or maybe He’s under that pile of Social Media. He could be buried under that season of Game of Thrones or House of Cards, or the entire library of books that you’ve just been putting off. Perhaps it’s that project at work that has precedence.
But one thing’s for sure, you’ve left no time in your life for Him. All the other things have built up – your memory’s full, your engine’s gunked up, and nothing’s running smoothly.
You need to reboot. Restart. Step back.
Maybe that means fasting from something: media, social events, food, reading; fasting doesn’t just have to be about eating. Maybe it means fasting from everything, all the distractions at once: a true vacation far away from home with nothing there with you, or a camping trip where it’s just you and nature.
Maybe it means giving up something permanently, or at least long term. Blocking a few websites that have a hold over you, taking a particular ongoing social engagement off the calendar, cancelling your cable subscription or having a friend lock your iPad down to just email and a few select apps (feel free to contact us if you’d like help getting that configured!). It won’t always be easy, and it’s often painful – we grow very attached to the things that graft themselves onto us.
What parts of your life have you allowed to take over? How can you scrape away the distractions?
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
–Oceans (Where Feet May Fail), Hillsong United
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5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (ESV)
3 I ate no delicacies, no meat or wine entered my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, for the full three weeks. (ESV)
2 While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” (ESV)
16 “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, 18 that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (ESV)
Unrighteous Condemnation
This article is geared more in the direction of our behaviour towards unbelievers, rather than fellow brothers and sisters. (“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”) makes it pretty clear that it’s acceptable to approach believers in regards to wrongdoing; yet, one should still be considerate, kind, and unpretentious when doing do.
Does any but God possess the right of condemnation?
There’s something fascinating about suffering.
I don’t mean that in any morbid or depraved manner, rather, the whole machine of creation points everything back to God in some way. You see, earlier today, I was listening to Bloc Party
, specifically the song “Hunting for Witches,” and reading through the FAQ on the subreddit /r/Christianity, where I came across their explanation of their views of homosexuality (spoiler alert: the community there as a whole hasn’t got any singular, solidified view), and that apparent perfect storm of events caused something to flash in my mind.
We are hunting for witches. Every day, and in every way. Every issue that we condemn others for is just another way to focus blame off of ourselves for things that aren’t even related to the issue that we’ve decided to condemn. Someone always has to sin worse than us, and we have to find them. We create suffering in the lives of others by our own self-righteous indignation. When we condemn another for their beliefs, actions, or behavior, we create a stress in their lives, and drive them further from God.
Truth is, I have no doubt in my mind that Jesus spent His time on this earth in corporeal form with all the ‘worst’ – for one thing, the Bible isn’t exactly quiet about it (, for example), and for another, He was here to change lives, mend hearts, and He was a force to be reckoned with. People hated Him, they called Him a Drunkard and a Glutton (). They condemned Him for daring to even give the time of day to the “great unwashed,” but it didn’t stop Him. It didn’t matter if the people didn’t agree with Him, were greedy, selfish, gluttonous, lazy, whorish, self-serving, or any number of other faults, He loved them just the same, and spent time with them.
We aren’t called to condemn people. We aren’t called to be the arbiter of damnation in the lives of those around us. Rather, we should be there, when people are suffering, lost, and confused, and we should provide support, reassurance, and, most important of all, the love of Christ. And if someone isn’t a believer, repeatedly berating them for doing things that they don’t feel are wrong serves no purpose other than to build an ever-widening chasm between them and their creator.
Is there anywhere in your life, any place where you find yourself unrighteously condemning others?
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16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, (ESV)
13 He went out again beside the sea, and all the crowd was coming to him, and he was teaching them. 14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he rose and followed him.
15 And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. 16 And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” 17 And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” (ESV)
19 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is justified by her deeds.” (ESV)